The first entry from home and last entry of my great adventure

So how did this happen? Seems like I was just kicking myself for purchasing a used RV for a trip that had not yet materialized and here I am back at home again. In the intervening 4 months my son has graduated college, moved to Tulsa, OK, and become the teacher he has dreamed of since 7th grade...with a few bumps along the road. I have driven close to 4000 miles, from OR to WA to OK to NM and back to OR. I have fulfilled a life long dream to return to the Navajo Nation and provide health care on the reservation. I have lost a chicken and gained a cat. Yes, that makes 7. And now, here I sit, on the deck, with a glass of wine, a cat next to me and another trying to get in my lap, as if nothing ever happened.

Jonny is having a pretty rough start. Let's see, what has TFA done to help him? Well, he spent the summer teaching first grade and is now on his own with 250 9th graders. He signed on to teach 4th grade bilingual students, then was told he would be teaching MS social studies, then 9th grade OK history. And he is really teaching US Govt and Politics. But he is doing it Jonny style. Gets frustrated,  questions why he is there, but gets up every morning, puts on his teacher clothes and hits it again. He has recruited almost a full lineup for the baseball team he will be coaching. And it sounds like he is making friends and has some good support systems. But he is in Tulsa, OK. Which is a very far distance from Eugene. Today I changed our message machine to leave him out. That was hard.

I am having some difficulty getting used to the Eugene scene again. I am surprised. All I could think about when I was in NM was how much nicer it was in the Pacific NW. And I arrive to arid conditions and temps much higher that Gallup had all summer. And the noise. White folk are so loud. Everyone wants to announce to everyone else just how great whatever they are doing is. Facebook on steroids. And the smells. What is it that makes white kids with dreads think that body odor and lack of hygiene is so wonderful and natural? I just spent the summer with folks whose ancestors were here a long time ago, many of whom do not have indoor plumbing or running water, but they bathe regularly and don't take pride in showing off. I guess I didn't really get it till I got home. And went to Saturday Market. That was probably not the best thing to do this early. I went to 3 powwows while I was in NM. Dancers in regalia that was heavy and probably really warm in the desert heat. They danced for hours on end. And they did not call attention to themselves or how wonderful they were or how much smarter they were than anyone else. They just danced. And they shook each others' hands. And they danced and they drummed. Not to make a point or a statement or support some cause. It was to maintain their culture. Young children, teenagers, young adults and elders. All dancing together.

Okay, so those of you who have been reading regularly know that it was not all sunshine and lollipops while I was away. There was the redundant policies that made no sense and took up too much time and took away from providing good patient care. And there were a few too many drunk and dependent Natives on the street. But, all in all, I learned probably as much as I taught. Not everything needs to be fixed now, immediately, or yesterday. It's okay to not be busy constantly, all day, every day. Take pride in what you do, but that also means not announcing it to everyone. I have always been a little skeptical of those who wear their beliefs, concerns, etc on their shirt sleeves. This experience has reinforced that.

The bats are out and flying around now. That means the mosquitoes are out too. I miss my friend Andrew. It was particularly hard to say good bye to him. I miss my quiet little apartment with just me and Otis. I miss going to the dog park where rescue dogs are really rescue dogs: the dog with no front legs that someone truly rescued after witnessing it getting hit by a car. I miss the smell of mutton and fry bread and kneel down bread. But I am glad to be home. Who knows what next summer holds in store????

the last entry from gallup

Well, I have done it. Made it through 3 months of the working in the most dysfunctional clinic I have ever worked in. But I am left feeling very grateful that I was able to have this experience. And now that it is almost time to leave I wish I could stay a little longer. I am making headway and seeing positive change and would like to see it happen for real. But that would require another 5 years, and, although I could live here that long if I had to, I would much rather be home.

Reflecting back this has been a little bit like pregnancy, only backwards. What? you ask. Well for most women the first and third trimesters are much tougher than the middle one. For me, here, the first and last thirds were good, bordering on great, but that middle part really sucked. I do feel, just a little bit, like I was eventually being used by some of the permanent docs to stir things up that they didn't feel comfortable stirring up, and this actually served to make things less pleasant for me because I was constantly being reminded how bad things were there. On the other hand, I can definitely leave Tohatchi Health Clinic knowing that I had a big role in improving things for both the patients and the staff, and that is ultimately satisfying.

Yesterday, the clinic staff gave me a little ovation and had a nice breakfast, complete with Spam, before we started seeing patients. I presented the stained glass piece I have been working on, and it was well received. Of course, I forgot to take a picture of the final piece, but it did turn out nice if I do say so myself. I saw a few final patients and was then sent to Gallup for my final paperwork and sign outs. It was such a typical example of excessive paper work to no obvious purpose I had to laugh. I was sent hither and yon to be told I didn't need to be there, or that I had the wrong paperwork, and eventually the consensus was that I didn't really need to do anything at all except give back my name badge. For that I could have charged 4 hours work, but I didn't, of course.

I did have a few nice conversations with some of the docs there who expressed how happy they were that I had had the guts to stand up to the powers that be and not put policy in front of patient care. They encouraged me to come back and I just might take them up on it. Maybe. After I get a chance to clear my head.

Rich came out to visit last week and we had a great time. He got to do his personal tour of Canyon de Chelly on Friday, then we went to the Totah Festival in Farmington, NM, which was a great combination of Powwow and crafts. We toured the Aztec Ruins (not really Aztec, of course, they just happened to be in Aztec, NM. We got to actually walk through ruins that people lived in over 1000 years ago. Then we took a short walk through the NM badlands, Bista something, which is eerily like a moon scape. We did some work on Bertha too. This is a really nice part of the country to visit and check out. Blue, red, white, and black rocks, ruins from the earliest organized settlements, mountains, of sorts, and some really nice people. But I don't think I would want to live here. I would miss being able to garden and having nice big trees to sit in the shade of.

Tonight we went to the Navajo Nation Fair in Window Rock, AZ. About 30 miles from here. Had my last mutton on fry bread for a good long while. That's probably a good thing. And went to my last powwow for a while. I am still in awe that on a Saturday night there were all these folks, from 3-83, dressed in traditional regalia, dancing for hours on end together. What a beautiful sight. And not one I can share. I decided to put away the camera and soak in the emotion all for myself.

Tomorrow me and Nancy will finish loading up Bertha. We will take Otis to the dog park one last time. And we will begin our journey home.

the upside of my experience

I have been so down on all things Gallup these days, I have decided to purposefully write about some positives. I have Otis with me. But wait, is that a positive? Well, I have learned to do more stuff around the house and have made some good friends at Home Depot. And just having a Home Depot is a positive. Last time I was here, there wasn't so much as a Safeway. My apartment is growing on me. We are close to the kid's athletics fields so we get to absorb that energy when we hear them out there practicing. I have a grand view for sunsets and sunrises. Okay, one little positive/negative about the complex. I have befriended a Navajo gent by the name of Andrew (well, Richard was his given name, but somehow it got changed recently). Andrew is about 50ish, clearly either developmentally delayed or the victim of severe head injuries, or likely both. We have been talking everyday as he waits for the bus to take him to his activity center. He taught me how to do needlepoint. His sister hates me. Because I am white. She has never spoken to me, but throws me looks that could kill, and when she is around, Andrew ignores me. He tells me she gets really mad if he talks to me. Or the Bolivian pediatrician that was here for awhile. But he is obviously so lonely.  Well, 4 days ago I showed him my finished needlepoint masterpiece from a pattern he gave me that is meant to frame a picture. I framed a picture of Andrew in it. I haven't seen him since. I think his sister is locking him in the apartment because he was talking to me, that evil white woman who gave up her entire summer at home to come care for the Navajo, whose ancestors were happily drinking beer in Bavaria whilst other European settlers were doing awful things things to Native Americans. I don't understand why it is okay for some people to be racist.

On the medical side of things, the clinic seems to be settling down. I am still that doctor that doesn't follow rules that make no sense, but there are more docs suddenly around and all are questioning the same things I have, and some change is in the air. We still see anyone who walks in, but we aren't being pushed to get them out the door at 4:30 or else. And today, when we had a young girl brought in unresponsive from the middle school, it was me they asked to see the patient first. We have a new Navajo NP and a locums from the DR that just finished residency. Ha, we now have 3 of us to do what I have been doing all by my lonesome!!

I went to my first Pow wow during the recent inter tribal Indian Ceremonial last weekend. Uh, it was actually the weekend before. My how time flies. What struck me about this was that here were tribes from NM, AZ, SD, and other places. They all have their own take on creation and God and other things. But here they were, all in beautiful regalia, dancing with and for each other, for the sheer joy of expressing themselves via dance and drums. Well, okay, there was a small cash prize given to those judged by Native peers to be the best dancers, but lots of folks were just dancing to dance. And I thought to myself, so many people right now are dying because of their interpretation of religion and God and creation. Maybe we should all eat some fry bread, smoke a pipe, and dance a little. Just  a thought.

today I learned how to run coaxial cable

As with most blogs, after a while folks stop reading, but I am also using this as a diary of my thoughts whilst here, so if you happen to read this post it may be a little disconnected a la free form thinking but it helps me remember what happened here in the land of the Navajo.

Today I came home to the curtains I hung to keep otis from destroying more Venetian blinds on the floor. An umbrella was ripped up in the living room. He tried to scratch thru the door to my bedroom. And he pulled the cable for the tv clean out of the wall. So we made our weekly trip to home depot to get the fix ins for cable repair and I jerry rigged something that will get us thru the final 3 wks here and it seems to be working! Today's Otis antics were brought to me by the handymen that were working next door on a flooded apt. They think it's cute to say hi to him thru the closed window, not realizing that it drives him nuts.

Earlier this week, after a particularly interesting day where I was referred to as a Godsend (now that's a first), more on that later, I was driving home and saw a cute Golden running down the road. I said to myself, gee that dog looks a lot like Otis, which is good, because it was Otis. As I drove past the apartment complex to pick him I saw my curtains blowing out the window, and a mangled screen laying in the bushes. And Otis running down the street. I think it was the thunder that day that sent him on his journey. So I have learned to repair screens and cable tv this week.

Work. Ah work. My last post was rather depressing. But unfortunately it was also realistic. It turns out that Tohatchi Health Clinic has had a great deal of difficulty recruiting and keeping docs. I can see why. While I enjoy so many aspects of caring for the Navajo, there is so much I don't understand. Like, why do they expect me to understand their idea of time, but they don't understand that I can't see 10 patients all at once? And how do a few women with a chip on their shoulders gain so much power in the organization? Okay, I know the answer to that. It's the government. When someone fails at one job, promote them to get them out of there.

Let me cite some examples to illustrate why this is a hard place to work. Reader beware, this is clinical.

We are supposed to see anyone and everyone who walks in the door. Graeat in theory. But a lot of folks walk thru the door w/complaints that most of us would not even think of going to the doctor for, thereby utilizing time that could be spent on the other folks who stay at home until they can't breathe before coming in. Case in point: I was recently busily trying to convince a nice Navajo woman that a stuffy nose for 12 hours probably doesn't warrant antibiotics whilst another patient was sitting in the waiting room with a trimalleolar ankle fracture (3 breaks in 1 ankle). And then, whilst trying to fashion a splint out of available material for said ankle fracture, I was being harassed by the receptionist of sorts to get up off the floor covered with plaster dust I had created during the creation of a wonderful if i do say so myself splint. Why? not to protect my clothes from plaster, you silly. She  wanted to go home (it was 4:30 after all), but I needed to stop taking care of the patient, go to a computer and complete my note before she could leave. So can you just take care of the important stuff doc???

On the day before I left to come home for a week, which was wonderful I might add, I was seeing the last patient of the day. She was put in the room at 4;20. Somehow I was supposed to see her and get done and out of there in 10 minutes. How do you do that? Especially when her main concern was that she had slept with someone 3 months ago, without the benefit of a condom, who clearly had syphillis by her description. And they weren't just sleeping. When I examined her she had a problem that I wont describe in detail, but suffice it to say she had number 2 coming out of the wrong place. She had been wondering why it was so hard to stay clean. So you don't just see that and walk out of the room. After a little bit of discussion, I come out of the room, at 4:45, and all the clinic lights are off and everyone is gone. I am still seeing a patient that someone decided needed to be seen, but she is not important enough for anyone to stay until she is adequately cared for. Even the med student shadowing me that day said " really?"

When I returned I was determined to put that behind me and carry on without pissing anyone off (by, ummmmm, taking care of patients???). Foiled again. On day 2 after my return a man in his early 50s came in looking like, as we say in medicine, shit. He was having a heart attack before our very eyes. I called the local er and explained what was going on, whilst resuscitating this poor man, and we both agreed the best course of action would be to fly him directly to albuquerque to the heart hospital. I called the cardiologist there and he agreed. So I asked the paramedics to direct the helicopter to the nearest landing site. They did, the patient flew to ABQ, and he survived. the feedback I got? I broke policy. I didn't waste time by sending him via land ambulance to Gallup, who would then have sent him to ABQ. I am a bad girl.

POLICY. FUCKING GODDAM POLICY. Does no one here care about the patients???????? We are supposed to open the flood gates at 8 am, but if that lazy ass white girl doctor isn't done by 4:30 she has probably been sitting on her ass eating bonbons all day. But now I must rest. More later.

the down side of my adventure

Sitting here is SFO(just got the usual we are delayed and we don't know for how long) and can’t get wi fi connection. Just like my apartment in Gallup. So I am going to have an Irish coffee at the Buena Vista and try creating this blog in Word and put in on my blog later.This trip home couldn’t come at a better time. I have been in the Navajo Nation in general and the IHS in particular long enough to be bothered by the many warts I see now. The honeymoon is definitely over. Although I still am glad to have had this experience, I doubt that I will be back. Much to Dr. Mock’s disappointment. He says he likes how I stir things up and wants me to stay forever.

The negatives of the Navajo Nation. The main thing that bothers me is the trash. A people that supposedly takes pride in Mother Earth certainly doesn’t take care of her very well. There is trash everywhere. Broken bottles, mainly of vodka, plastic cups from the many Sonics and McDonalds, and empty beer cans decorate the landscape in as much abundance as the cacti and wildflowers.

Yes, there are stumbling drunks, in great abundance at the first of the month, but they are benign. Sad, but benign. They talk and laugh with you, occasionally hit you up for money, but are not aggressive and don’t litter the street corners with cardboard signs and themselves. I am amazed at how much they move. Walking everywhere. Up to the plasma center, across to the liquor store, back to town, and often end up at the hospital where they can get a meal and a bed while waiting to be seen in the ER for their daily visit.

And that is my segue into the Indian Health Service. This is Medicaid gone really, terribly wrong. Not in that services are not available. To the contrary.  Everyone comes to the doctor or dentist as often as possible. 20 yr olds have charts as thick as most octogenarians in the private world. Wake up with a stuffy nose? Go the clinic. Don’t like what they say(usually that antibiotics are not needed), go to a different clinic in another town. Still don’t get what you want , go to the ER, where they are so busy seeing non-emergent patients that they are likely to cave in and give you the antibiotics you are demanding. And guess what? You get better in a few days. So take a trip back to the original clinic to complain that the white lady doctor doesn’t like Navajo people and wouldn’t give you the antibiotics that the Navajo PA in the ER did and see how much better you are already. Of course, you would have been better by now anyhow, but now you get to make the rounds again to get treatment for the yeast infection caused by the unnecessary antibiotics. And all this unnecessary care is totally free of charge.

Make an appointment to see the doctor? Never. That, too , is seen as the white man not understanding the Navajo culture. Time isn’t a big thing. Unless you can’t see all at once the 10 patients that all walk in at 8:30, demanding to be seen for either inconsequential or very complex problems that really require a lot of thought and maybe some time, and someone has to wait an hour. Then you get the stern glance at the watch, the “ how long are you here” question, and the shake of the head cuz no doctors stay here longer than 30 days. Kind of reminds me of the days when Chrissy was looking for a husband. 

I am considered the walk in doctor. Which means I don’t have any scheduled appointments. At all. Some days I see 24 patients and some days I see 5. Great use of my time. The IPC (stands for improved patient care, haha) docs are the full time, permanent docs. While I am running around handling lacerations, chest pain, fractures, and a lot of nothing wrong, but while I’m here visits, they are leisurely walking from room to room, seeing only scheduled patients, half of whom don’t show up.  Anyone who walks in, with any complaint, gets to sit in the waiting room until I can get to them. Even if their own doctor is in that day. Even if they just saw said patient the day before and made changes in their meds. I get to jump in the middle of the stream and try to figure out what happened during the 2 hospitalizations they have had in the last 2 weeks, one of which was at another IHS hospital. (Oh, did I mention that none of the medical record systems in the IHS talk to each other? They all use the same EHR but they don’t communicate with each other.)

BUT, here’s the killer. I have to see anyone and everyone AND be absolutely done by the bewitching hour of 4:30. Then everyone, and I do mean everyone, leaves or at least clocks out. Yesterday, I got in to see my last patient at 4:20. She had issues that happened a year ago, but she was in the eye clinic anyway so thought she’d check in for a medical appointment. I came out of the room at 4:35 to find the clinic empty. Looked like the morning after. Lights off, nurses gone. I needed to do a pregnancy test and some blood work to evaluate the inevitable “oh, by the way” complaint, so I went to the lab. The lab tech was there, but clearly informed me that it was “10 to 5” clearly implicating that  the lab was closed. So I did the tests and drew the blood and got it ready for them to process all while she sat there and watched.  And when I turn in my time sheet, they will give me grief for having put in “overtime.”

During our morning “huddle” I have tried to make suggestions that maybe patients could be triaged by one of the 3 RNs we have floating around everyday (in addition to 3- 4 assistants and a few health techs to walk patients to the rooms), and the less urgent folks could be asked to make appointments, but I am told it basically that it is a treaty right for native americans to get health care when and where they want. It doesn’t seem to matter that this is less quality health care than it could be as I really can’t take the time to go over everything with one patient when I know there are 10 more waiting. Then I get the eye roll, there goes the white girl again look. And you should see the looks I get when I say that I am fine staying late to make sure patients are cared for, but it would be nice if a few of the support staff stayed as well, since I don’t know the system………

Yep, I am ready for a trip to the chicken coop and some hugs from my son and hubbie.

getting lost on the rez

At times I feel I am really out of place here, and at times I really am. I have this thing about putting patient care in front of policy. I have never seen an organization with more policies than the IHS. I suppose it's a governmental thing. I mean, how would they spend all our tax dollars if they didn't have 10 policies, written by 20 people to cover 1 thing. Last week I did battle with the pharmacy. In the rest of the world a physician sees a patient, comes up with a diagnosis, and writes for medication, if needed, on a prescription that the patient takes to a pharmacy and waits for the pharmacist to fill the prescription and educate the patient about the medication. (except for if you pick it up through the drive through, as I discovered when I treated a bus full of puking, and other things, baseball players).

In this system, we not only have to provide the diagnosis to the dispensing pharmacist, we have to complete our chart note so he can review it before he will dispense the medication. No big deal, you say. Well, I counted mouse clicks and waiting time whilst trying to create a note on a patient in this ridiculous EHR system the IHS uses. Between 60-70 mouse clicks and 2 minutes watching the circle go round before you can enter a note into the system. An average of 7-10 minutes all together. Per patient. If I see 15 patients, I have spent about 2 hours looking at my computer. So I see a patient, type for 10 minutes, see a patient, type for 10 minutes, and get further and further behind. And at 4 I have 3 more patients to see, but the problem is, the clinic staff walk out, literally, at 4:30. I am supposed to be done. If I'm not, I should be. After all, the government contract says so. Unfortunately the patients have not read the contract and don't know that they can't show up septic (really, badly infected) and withdrawing from alcohol at the end of the day. So I stay until all patients are cared for, AND notes are written, and then get called to task for being here too late. There must be a separate Hippocratic oath for docs who choose to do this full time. And what, may I ask, does a friggin' pharmacist need my note for to give a drug I have ordered????

There, I got that out. On to fun stuff. Kind of.

On Saturday I decided to find an out of the way trading post that is supposed to have an incredible Navajo rug museum. The reviews say it is great, but expect to have some loose teeth after traveling over the bumpy, unpaved road to get there.  So I head north, past the community where my clinic is located, and see the sign to Toadlena about 50 miles north. Then my phone dies. No problem, I will follow the signs. Except there are no more. I am bouncing over roads that make NW logging roads seem paved and see nothing nor nobody. But maybe around the next turn....Well after 30 minutes of this I decide the further I go the further I will have to walk when I pop a tire on one of the many rocks  I have been trying to avoid, so I turn around. Then I have to pee. But I am afraid to turn off the engine for fear it won't start and I literally have seen no signs of life in a very long while. (altho the scenery is pretty). I stop the car, put it in park and brake, and step behind the car to take care of my bladder and then realize that I am in rattle snake country. I am envisioning the head lines: local doctor run over by own car after getting bitten in the butt by a rattler, when the only car I have seen in 45 minutes drives by. Timing is not my strong point. Turns out the place I was looking for was 5 minutes from the highway.

Sunday I toured the beautiful Canyon de Chelly with an old residency friend that is working in Chinle, my favorite place in the Navajo Nation. I will try to post pics on Facebook, but internet connection is slooooowwww tonight. This place is magical. Ruins and pictograms from the 13th century. Red rocks and green trees. And homes placed 50 feet up a solid rock cliff. And I complain about the 3 steps into our house from the garage!!

Speaking of my garage, I will be home for a week soon. Can't wait. This is a long time to be away from my chickens!!

Rugs and royalty

On Friday I attended the monthly Crown Point Rug Auction. On the second Friday of every month Navajo weavers from all over the SW convene in this little town out in the middle of nowhere to auction off beautiful works of art that they may have spents months working on, especially if you count the raising and shearing of the sheep, the spinning and dying of the wool, and the hand weaving on the loom. Some of the rugs were no bigger that coasters and some were 4x6 feet. All were exquisite.

By the end of the night they had submitted for sale (not all sold) probably 200 rugs. Some sold for $40, some for $2000. All were worth every penny. I managed to keep myself from buying the big ones, knowing I had nowhere to display them, but did walk away with 6 smaller rugs to use as gifts and remembrances. To know that the weavers that created these pieces were sitting at tables in the back of the room was pretty special. So much better than going to some "trading post" knowing that the artists were paid so much less than the sellers would make.

 As I was standing in line to complete my purchases a man walked up and said he had won the bid on 6 rugs, but only got 5. The clerk found the last rug and said she thought he had bid $75 for it. He had really won it at $140.  She was going to take $75, but he said he couldn't do that. It was worth so much more. He paid $140. Just like NYC, right Rich??

I experienced my first road check point that night. As I rounded a curve on the very dark and isolated road I saw a bunch of police lights. I thought there had been an accident. But it was a random check point, where they stop all cars going in both directions to screen for DUIs.  This is a good thing, I thought. The car in front of me was being questioned for a particularly long time. Eventually the driver got out and literally stumbled around to the passenger side and the woman that had been a passenger became the driver. 3 miles down the road I saw them by the side of road exchanging seats again. This is why you have to be very careful driving after dark here.

Yesterday was the weekly Flea Market again. I decided to make a quick trip to see if there was anything new and different. Still lots of used tires, socket sets galore, and food and jewelry. And DVDs. Lots of them. As I was passing by a picnic table in the glaring sun I saw this regal elder Navajo woman, scarf on head, traditional skirt and jewelry,  sitting there eating an ice cone. I smiled at her, wishing I had the guts to ask to take her picture. After mustering up my courage (yes, this is one thing I have a hard time attacking) I went back and asked if I could take her picture. She obviously spoke no English, but I think she understood my hand gestures. As her ice cone dripped in the mid day sun I took one quick pic of her with the usual stern face that you often see on Navajo elders. When I returned with a few napkins for her, she busted out the most beautiful toothless grin. OH, thank you!! she said. The extent of her English I am sure, and I got to hear it.

All alone again

Here I sit with Otis.  Rich just left, and I am wondering what I am doing here. Had a great weekend. Rich is not his usual active self due to a knee issue that is hopefully getting fixed on Tuesday, so I was able to keep up with him.

I finally checked out some of the local restaurants. Hadn't gone out at to eat at all since I've been here. The El Rancho "Home of the Movie Stars" is a great old structure from the 30s which is supposedly where the stars stayed when out west filming some of those great westerns I grew up with. Really cool inside. Food? Not so much. The El Matate Tamale Factory is a family run business where Mom cooks and serves and the kids take orders and deliver water. We were the only folks there on the 4th of July and couldn't help wondering why she stayed open, but were glad she did. Found an Italian place that will do in a pinch and they make their own gelato. Not nearly as good as Stella's, but will come in handy when the monsoons hit next month and the humidity goes up. The best is Earl's. Good food, good service and they allow local artists to not only set up tables outside (and they provide shade) but they also come through the restaurant, very quietly and not at all pushy. You say no thank you and they move on. Bought a beautiful horse hair pot from a young woman named Renalda and a cute set of earrings from a clearly autistic young man wearing a t-shirt for a local program that provides special services for special kids.

These artisans will sit there all day waiting patiently to sell their goods. They greet you with a smile, say good morning, and thank you for stopping by, but don't try to guilt you into buying anything. No pushy sales man approach as we have seen in some of the shops run by non Native folk. More on that later. And not a single person sitting on a street corner asking/demanding money for doing nothing productive. It's a completely different, and frankly refreshing, scene from Eugene and other cities I have visited recently.

We drove to the Zuni Pueblo on Friday. 35 miles from Gallup and a completely different place. Instead of Hogans on every homestead, every home has an outdoor Kiva or oven. Most have more than one. It makes sense, when the temperature is routinely in the 90s, to do your baking outside. I stopped to talk to a gentleman who was constructing a new oven and got some pointers. Guess what I am re-building when I get home!! Turns out it isn't unusual for them to break down after a few years, so I can blame Rich and his riding lawn mower entirely for the demise of my last one.

It was in Zuni that we were hit with capitalism in it's finest, however. After visiting 2 shops run by locals, one of which is cooperatively owned by the artists that sell fine Zuni jewelry and fetishes, we visited Pueblo something or other. We were immediately greeted by a man who clearly did not come from these parts. Selling "totally unique" everything that he would give us a very good price on. His stuff was unique all right. The only shop where I can guarantee you that everything was made in China. He isn't breaking the law. He doesn't advertise that it is Indian made. But he sits smack dab in the middle of this beautiful village that was settled 5-600 years ago, hawking garbage for the same price that true artisans that have lived here for generations are trying to get by selling. I didn't smack him, but I sure felt like it. Rich said he visited a shop or 2 in Gallup like this as well. Apparently some families from the middle east have discovered they can sell fake wears, originally marked with outrageous prices, but then "giving it away" for a price just under what you could purchase the real thing for, and stupid bargain hunting Americans will bite. It's absolutely disgusting. And there is something about being greeted by a saleswoman in a burka here, where woman are not only considered equal,  but the elder women are treated with a great deal of respect, well it just makes you want to........walk out without even looking.

Enough of that. Yesterday we had an archaeologists dream day. We drove and walked through the Painted Desert, then on to an old pueblo from 1200 AD where some remnants of the walls are still standing and there are petroglyphs everywhere, some 2000 yrs old; on to the Petrified Forest, where we walked trails surrounded by the most colorful huge pieces of  trees believed to be 21 million years old. Thousands of huge pieces of timber now turned to red, yellow and purples pieces of art. These trees provided shade for dinosaurs. Pictures and words cannot express the feeling of walking through this piece of history. And all within a 28 mile stretch of road in Arizona.

I introduced Rich to mutton sandwiches on fry bread sold at the food cart by the nightly Indian dances. Every night from Memorial day to Labor Day members of various tribes come to dance and sing and tell stories in the sacred circle by the courthouse. Yes, some of them are clearly Indians dancing for tourists, but not all. And it is nice to see this tradition being carried on. Some are very old story tellers with young family members doing the dancing. And I am always pleasantly surprised to see young and old American Indians there. On Thursday I had my head straightened out, once again. There is a basket out for tips. A young, disheveled appearing Navajo man approached the circle where the basket was placed. I had suspicious thoughts. The man then bowed to the sacred circle and emptied his pockets of what little change he had into the basket. This was repeated by another young Navajo, dressed in the fashion of the day, literally having to hold his baggy jeans up so they didn't slip completely off his butt. I get my head rearranged frequently here. Maybe that is why I am here.

In the land of breaking bad

Another adventure with Bertha. I have already talked about the relative insanity of our trip out here with things breaking left and right. Really, other than the awning crashing down on I 70 in the middle of Kansas, none of the other stuff was really a big deal. I mean, who has hot running water and a flush toilet in a tent? And that is the only camping I have done for 20 some years. It was a combination of disappointment that all the stuff was breaking and that it was making my dream trip with Jonny a little more of a nightmare that made me nuts. I managed just fine without the amenities. But I did pay for them and for the inspection of them.

So, when the rapid response team of Camping World jumped right on the case after I posted my story on their forum I thought I was really going to get some help from them. After talking to a bunch of folks and taking a bunch of pics of the various parts that didn't work, and yada yada yada, I had an appt w/ the Camping World in Albuquerque this Saturday to fix things. At least I thought I did. After driving 2 1/2 hours on Friday night and paying to stay in a hotel so I could be there at 8 AM as requested, I showed up to the best imitation of a deer in the headlights I have ever seen. They had no idea I was coming, couldn't do what needed to be done, and were assholes on top of it. So I took my hot water/toiletless Bertha back to Old Town and had a margarita. I am so done with Camping World. I can get by without all the fancy pants amenities like hot water. As long as she runs okay and gets me where I need to go I am happy.

I did meet up with an old high school acquaintance in Albuquerque. At least  we went to school at the same place. I don't think we hung out much. In fact, I'm not sure I remember her. But it was fun meeting up with someone from my home town and her hubbie. And I wandered the streets of Old Town for hours. Last time I was there was 1986. Not much has changed. Other than that I was able to check my email whilst waiting for dinner.

Today me and Otis hit up the Petsmart on our way out of town. Ooowee. A trip to Albuquerque and I come away with a bag of dog food (which I hope my boy with the sensitive stomach will tolerate) and a t- shirt for Jonny. It's a good one. A picture of the Santa Maria. The caption is: Illegal Immigration Started in 1942. Great for a history teacher! Oh, and he is now assigned to a HS in Tulsa, will teach social studies, and is going to try to get in on the baseball staff.

Oh, the title of this post..... Albuquerque has definitely been using the Breaking Bad connection to it's advantage. Everywhere is selling t-shirts w/references to the famous series. And I stopped in the candy shop that made the original rock candy that was the prop for the first 2 seasons, before it was blue. They even had a bald guy there that people were taking pics with. That was a bit much for me. Meth is not a joke folks.

4 days without having to replace the blinds!!

I have made it through another week, and 4 days without surprises from the canine wonder. I think he is settling in. Of course it helps that I am now getting up at 6 to walk him to the dog park and let him run around before I go to work, and do the same after work. And I have been feeding him home made grub. I think of his problem was an upset tummy. So I went to Walmart and loaded up on chicken, lean ground beef, and rice to make for him. Suggested by some online site. What was sad was that what I had in my cart was far superior, nutritionally speaking, to the contents of any other cart in line. It seems that everyone lives on white bread, bologna, hot dogs, chips, twinkies and Coke, cuz that was what virtually every cart was filled with.

Another plus to the night time routine is that we have taken to walking from the park to the downtown area where they have Native dancing every night. Last night we saw some Zuni dancers performing the deer dance and the buffalo dance. Plus they usually perform some music. And I didn't realize it until I looked up the web site (nightlyindiandance.com) but the dancing area looks like a Papago basket from above.

I haven't hit it up yet, but when Rich comes to visit next week we are going to do a family outing to the dog park, then to the dances, and then to the food cart. Portland, eat your heart out. We are going to have mutton sandwiches on fry bread. Or maybe a Navajo burger (burger on fry bread). Or a Navajo taco(taco fixings on fry bread).

From the above paragraphs it should be obvious what kind of medical problems I have been treating. Diabetes and High blood pressure. Everyone has it. I really wish I knew where this diet came from. I mean, an occasional fry bread something is okay, but some of these guys have fry bread with every meal. I am relatively certain it was not a part of the ancestral food fare.

Until today I was seeing patients with chronic illnesses that were being followed at the clinic. I was amazed at how well spoken they were, how well dressed all were, most knew at least some of their meds, and were interested in learning about their disease processes and were willing to make some changes to get better. Today I started doing the walk in clinic. Now I am getting introduced to the seedier side of the res. All of a sudden I am seeing the consequences of fights under the influence of alcohol, drug seekers, and folks just wanting the magic pill. I think life is going to get more interesting. And sad.

Otis......again

Yesterday I took Otis to Red Rock State Park to try a hike. About a 1/2 mile in, he sat down in the shade and refused to get up. I took the hint, let him cool down, and headed back to the car. Where I was greeted by one of my favorite animals of all time, a prairie dog. We were parked in the middle of a village! After spending some time "conversing" with the watch dog and taking some pictures, we headed up to McGuffy Lake......which is now dry. But I did find some hikes that me and the boy can do that involve shade and less heat. But then.....

Today, I came home to find not one, not two, not three, but all four blinds in the apartment laying in shreds on the floor. And while I was standing in the kitchen with my chin on my chest I realized there was a rancid smell in the apartment, and my foot was stuck in something. You guessed it. He really outdid himself this time. It is now 11 or so, and I just finished replacing the blinds (again) and cleaning up everything. I suspect he was frantically trying to get out to do his business, but I am ready to send him home.  I am going to look into flying a dog alone or with Rich when he comes to visit next weekend. Enough.

the flea market

 Every Saturday there is a flea market here. Saturday market, eat your heart out. Booth upon booth of Indian jewelry for sale. Some good, some from China. And sandwiched in between are booths selling local baked goods and food booths selling mutton stew, mutton sandwiches, corn stew, and fry bread. And rabbits. Live. And used tires. Lots of CDs and VCR tapes. You can also get just the used printer you have been looking for. Or maybe some tools. Or a parakeet. Maybe some bread fresh from an outdoor Zuni oven. Or a new grill for your car. And across the street you can buy bales of hay off the back of a truck. And I thought parking lot scenes were only good for veggie burritos and grilled cheese.

Tonight was the big rodeo finale. Bull riding, bareback bronco riding, barrel racing, and mutton busting'. What, you ask, is mutton busting'? Little kids, in chaps and helmets, riding, you guessed it, sheep. Bucking sheep. Mean sheep. Cowboy clowns and all. And it's no joking around. The purse for the winner? $1900!! A new saddle, custom chaps, a bunch of other stuff, and $400 in cash. These kids are 7 yrs old!!

The setting was incredible. In Red Rock State Park. Surrounded by huge shear walls of red rocks. A small version of Denver. And I had my first, and last, Frito pie. When in Rome.....

Animals I have encountered

Today I had my first encounter with goats by the road. Earlier this week there was a cow in the road. And a horse yesterday. You see, this is open range country. And with the fires, I suspect animals are on the move. I wondered why a number of patients say they are afraid to drive in to the clinic sometimes. Apparently there are some pretty nasty bulls that have been known to charge cars out there. And I was worried about rattlesnakes and tarantulas!

The fire is about 20% contained now. Virtually all of the summer camps are destroyed and won't be able to be used for a number of years. These are not the summer camps we think of. They are areas where the Navajo families bring their livestock, mainly sheep, to graze during the summer, but also where they all get together to shear and immunize their animals. One family helps another and it all gets done. It is unknown what will happen now.

I have had my own first hand experience with a wild animal this week. In the form of one dog named Otis. I was consulting on a patient for another doc yesterday when my cell phone rang. I ignored it. Then I got a text. "I have Otis." The boy had destroyed the vinyl blinds over my living room window, nosed the window open, and escaped through the screen. Twice. Luckily they are doing some landscaping around the apartments, and the guys have gotten to know Otis, so when he went running by they were able to corral him,  but had to carry him back in the apartment, as he was doing his usual play dead imitation. The next time they saw him he was coming back from the baseball field behind us, where he had apparently been frolicking in the sprinklers and rolling around the infield. He was a muddy mess and so was the apartment. ARGHHHHH!!!

The not so amusing animal stories are the daily dead animals, usually dogs, that I see as I drive north. There are soooo many stray dogs on the reservation. And they all have this kind of scary wild look about them. And everyday one more is gone. And no one comes to pick them up.

There's a fire in Indian country

Over the weekend I noticed a plume of smoke in the mountains. Didn't think much about it. Until Monday, when I arrived at the Clinic to the news of a wild fire in the mountains about 15-20 miles north of Tohatchi. In the sacred mountains where the Navajo have been taking their sheep to graze during the hot summer months for centuries. Sheep are very important to the Navajo. They use their wool in the fantastic rugs they weave and the meat is a staple of their diet.

We were expecting perhaps a run of patients that were worried about smoke inhalation. But on Monday it was business as usual. I saw one "grandma" (all elder women are grandmas and middle aged women are aunties) who had spent the entire day on Sunday evacuating herself and her sheep to Shiprock. Successfully. With the help of community members that drove trailers up the mountain and moved them with her. Oh yea, she had had an hour of chest pain after she was done, but she wasn't too worried. It went away.

The fire spread, with the help of very substantial wind gusts, up to 55 MPH, on Tuesday.  We saw fewer patients than usual. I guess everyone was out helping their community members. It now encompasses 12,000 acres. We opened the Clinic this AM, when it is usually closed on Wednesdays, thinking maybe someone would need something extra. A few folks came in to get early refills on their meds since they had had to leave them behind when they were evacuated, but no one else. They are now cutting fences to let the livestock that remain out to escape on their own so tribal members will stop trying to get past fire lines to save them. A patient today told me she was up the mountain just last week taking pictures of flowers and wild horses. No drama. She is clearly upset, but accepting that these things happen. Of course, this fire was caused by a careless human throwing hot ashes into the woods. But I have yet to hear an accusatory voice.

I remember a time at LCC when there was a small amount of smoke or vapors in a building. We couldn't keep up with the hysterical folks running in to get checked. In this world, things happen, good and bad; some you can control and some you can't.

Google Assayii Lake fire if you are interested.

Saturday night in Gallup

 Start out the night walking into town for Arts Crawl and pass a Zuni man in full regalia dancing in the town square. Next to the square is a tribute to the Navajo Code Talkers and to American Indians that have fought in various wars. In town I watch a group of Indians, including one heavily tattooed man, dancing Zumba. Led by an obviously gay Navajo man. And on the way home I watch as 4 Indian men are picked up for public intoxication. Two of them with the telltale facies of fetal alcohol syndrome. I have a lot to learn here.

The windy city

As a Chicago girl I don't often let the wind push me inside, but here in Gallup when the wind blows this hard you get sand blasted. They even shut the Flea Market early today. Just as I was arriving, of course. I hope the Arts Walk still happens tonight. Been looking forward to it all week.

Me and Otis took a drive around today to revisit Gallup. This town has doubled in size since I was here 28 yrs ago. Lots of "trading posts" (the new age word for places to buy some good and some cheap replicas of traditional American Indian crafts). You used to see small mom and pop stands selling items they and their families made. No more. AND there are 3, yes 3, Sonic Drive Ins here. I just may have to experience that for the first time while I am here. Not too many real restaurants, though, which I find interesting, given that they are clearly marketing Gallup as the place to come for all things Indian.

This is interesting. When I was here last, the Navajo and other tribes we served at the hospital were referred to as Native Americans. Now it is clear the preference is for American Indian. Not sure when that happened.

So I spent 2 days in Tohatchi this week. The clinic is amazingly nice. Houses a full lab with real lab techs, dental, eye, medical, occasionally some PT, limited X-ray, and a pharmacy. The waiting area is designed to be like a hogan with beautiful paintings on the walls about the history of the Dine`(the accent mark is wrong but this is what the Navajo people call themselves). Everyone I have met has been very nice and helpful. I am so used to being independent (aka understaffed) that I feel totally spoiled, which is not what I was expecting. I have a "tech" to room my patients, and there are 2 RNs that help everyone. I don't have to draw my own blood, spin and prep it for transfer. If I ask for something it magically appears. The EHR is pretty intuitive and I was able to get pretty good with it in just one day.

The patients have been very nice overall. They are, unfortunately, used to waiting forever to be seen. Often times they just check in, have a seat in the beautiful lobby, and wait for hours to be seen. It is clear they are tired of seeing different doctors all the time. One patient, who had recently had a heart attack, was clearly upset that he was going to have to tell his story all over again, but after a while he settled down and we ended up having a real nice talk about his fears and anxiety regarding the likelihood this might happen again. We also talked about how his faith (or faiths) have helped him through this. Lots of folks here embrace a number of  belief systems, traditional and Christian, as well as traditional vs modern medical care. A lot of the staff are locals that got training elsewhere and returned home to serve their community.

There are 3 family medicine docs in Tohatchi;  me, a permanent doc (he has been there 2 yrs) and another locums doc from Puerto Rico. A pediatrician recently joined the clinic after spending 20 yrs in Gallup. The other locums leaves in 2 weeks, leaving just me and Greg unless we get someone else to help out. I have not had a chance to check out the "town" of Tohatchi but am going to try to do that this week.

I'm baaack

Spent the day today getting oriented to a hospital I worked at briefly when I was a resident. At the time, I was assigned to a dorm room in what they lovingly called the kennels across the street from the hospital, handed a call schedule (7 days followed by 7 nights, a day off and repeat), sent to L&D, handed a chart and delivered a baby, all within an hour of reporting for duty. Now, thanks to eletronicity, I spent an entire day, with a gazillion different people, getting assigned a bazillion user codes and passwords. Yep that ole electronic health record sure has improved health care and made it more efficient.

I met some really interesting people today. When I was here before it seemed like a lot, if not most, of the docs I met were here because they were paying back public health commitments or couldn't get a job anywhere else. All of the docs I met today seemed to be here because they felt a commitment to the people here. Went to a noontime conference regarding palliative care in this culture and realized I knew nothing about the various tribes' beliefs about death, afterlife, where death should occur, etc. I now have a 175 page "booklet" to read on the subject that one of the docs I met helped write. She is Navajo herself.

Poor Otis isn't quite sure what to do about all these people coming and going all the time. He has decided the entire apt complex needs his protection and barks whenever someone opens a door, or, even worse, drives up in a noisy truck. Which someone did last night at midnight and then there were more, and then there was screaming and shouting and get the f---outta here or I'm calling the cops. I was really wondering what kind of place I got stuck in and then this am saw that 2 other units are occupied by docs and tonight I met my next door neighbor who is an orthopedic surgeon also here for  a temporary placement. So I guess I'm not alone and now I know some folks in the complex.

Tomorrow I head to Tohatchi. I think. Actually there was one little snafu today. I showed up as instructed to meet Dr. Mock at 8, but he never showed up and no one seemed to know I was coming. But they did a good job of working it out. But no one knows where I am supposed to go in the morning. Ah well, they will figure it out. See, I am learning already!!

Galloping into Gallup

Had to. I was going to toss my cookies in Bertha if I didn't get here quickly. Started to feel ill as I was fixing to leave the campground in Santa Fe. By the time I reached Albuquerque I was having shaking chills. Got into my apartment just in time to make my first visit to the bathroom. Welcome home! Spent the next 14 hours on the couch or in bed. Missed my first desert sunset. It's weird being all alone in a new town, knowing absolutely no one, and being sick. I was able to grab a bottle of ginger ale on the way into town and that got me through until I made it to the store today.

The apartment is, well, interesting. A lot like something I might have lived in 30 years ago. But filthy. Spent the day cleaning and organizing and personalizing it, so I feel a little more at home. CompHealth's idea of providing a furnished kitchen is a broken coffee pot, 2 plates, 2 bowls, and some disposable plastic cups. So it's a good thing I brought Bertha and all my supplies from home. I did splurge on some colorful glasses at Walmart however. Along with $100 in cleaning supplies. And Raid. 2 Cans. One for ants and roaches and one for spiders and scorpions. Scorpions!! What am I doing here?

One good thing about the apt is that there is a dog park just about 1/4 mile away. Otis met some new friends there today. And there is a baseball field next door. Got my baseball fix watching 7 yr olds "play baseball" tonight. The same old scene. Most of the kids not terribly interested, the ball going everywhere but where it should go, and the "coaches" telling all the batters to "keep that back elbow up." Hilarious.

Interesting experience at Walmart. As I was walking around I began to feel a little uneasy for unclear reasons. Then realized that for the first time in my life (except for when I was here 30 years ago and was oblivious) that I was in the distinct minority. It is really weird to be one of a very few folks with white skin here. Hmmmm. And the reception hasn't been all positive already. It will be interesting to see how I am received at the clinic.

Oh, and the other good thing about the apt is that is very close to a natural foods co-op. Given that the only other options are Walmart and Albertson's I anticipate doing most of my shopping there even if it is a bit more expensive. And guess what? I was not in the minority there. Same white folk talking about their naturopaths as in the Kiva at home!!

Tomorrow is the big day. I don't remember starting any other new position with such fear and trepidation. Wish me luck.

Do you know the way to Santa Fe

Originally had planned to go to albuquerque and stay in a hotel due to all the problems I have been having with the big B, but put on my big girl pants and decided to stay in her 2 more nights since I don't know when I will go out in her again. Headed towards Santa Fe, NM....after getting the final touches on the ceiling fan cover...just before it poured again.

Passed 2 bad accidents on the other side of the road, probably due to the high winds. Although the wind was nowhere near as bad as what we ran into in KS and OK. A semi truck had turned over on it's side, blocking both lanes of traffic heading east. Traffic was backed up 2 miles. Then saw one that made me real glad we didn't tow Jonny's car. Trailer on one side of highway, car on other, firemen using Jaws of Life to extricate victims. Yikes.

Got terribly lost trying to find the RV camp I was looking for. Probably partly because it looks nothing like the tree covered serene scene shown on the web site. Just a little misleading. But I can take the city bus into the main scene of Santa Fe and Otis can stay in our nice A/C'd Bertha.

All in all, one of the least problematic days of the trip. But there is still 2 1/2 hrs left......

And now for some fun in the weather

Arrived in Amarillo, wearing a cowboy hat as I did my last trip through here, thirty years ago. Just as I pull into the Fort Amarillo RV Park (yes, this is a real place, and it's really kind of cute) the skies turn dark and the wind starts up. The very nice proprietor tells me not to worry. There is a storm cellar on site. I get to sit through my first tornado warning in many years, whilst camping in a problematic Bertha. Wind, rain, thunder, lightening. But no hail...yet. Last night, he saws, they got some "little' hail. Only grape size. Sometimes they get golf ball size. He'd let us know if that was coming.

Weather clears and I decide to talk Otis for a walk. He is limping from some unknown injury. Just as we reach the "dog park" the lightening starts again. Back to Bertha we go. As the wind really starts to pick up and the lightening is really putting on a show, the cover to the ceiling fan blows off, leaving a 12 inch hole in the roof with heavy rain starting to fall. So, Spiderman like, I have to climb up the ladder, onto the slippery wet roof, with lightening coming down all around me and retrieve the cover, replace it over the hole as best I can and skeedaddle it back down the ladder, almost falling twice. Have to remove the inside cover of the fan and use a couple of bungee cords to attach the cover to various things inside, thus leaving only a drip of water coming through that I stand holding a cup to catch until this storm passes. They say this could go on all night. I sense a sleepless one is upon me.

the last day in OKC

So over the past few days we have helped Jonny move into his apartment at OK City University, where he will complete his training for TFA. He has a cool roommate named Roy, from NJ, and has already begun making friends amongst his corps mates. No surprise. That guy is such a social character. He is going to do fine here, but I kind of hope he doesn't decide to stay here. OKC is so hot and humid, and the severe weather they get not infrequently is kind of scary. Well, very scary.

We said our good byes on Wednesday after a great meal at Mickey Mantle's Steakhouse. An appropriate place for the baseball guys for sure. I tried not to cry, but it didn't work. I know we will see him at least a few times a year, but that is such a change from the weekly dinners during baseball season, and the long visits over Christmas and the summers. I can't believe we are entering the phase of life that our parents have been in for so long. I now understand how important those parental visits are to the people that raised and nurtured you. And I get why Grama Lari always wanted to make birdies in the nest for Jonny when he was little. And I feel bad for how I responded when she would pull out the dishes that Rich used when he was a kid. Memories are all we have now and the opportunity to relive special things should not be treated as wrong or silly. I hope what goes around does not come around in this case, but who knows what our relationship with our adult son and his future family will look like.

I took Rich to the airport yesterday with the intention of hitting the road after returning to the hotel, but I was so physically and mentally exhausted that I decided to stay on in OKC for another day to get ready for the big adventure and get a little rest. Found a great dog park for Otis where he romped and played in this great pond. I did not tell Jonny I was staying on, as we had already done the good byes and he is really busy with his training. But I couldn't help saying one last good bye and telling him I loved him when I passed by the OKC University exit.

We have been contacted by the powers that be at Camping World and may actually get some help fixing some of the things that went wrong on the trip here. I am not holding by breath though.

So now it is time to put the leash on Otis and head to NM. I am so fortunate to have family and friends that will support me and Rich and Jonny as we head into this new phase of life.

The Quiet

I sit in an incredibly quiet hotel room. Jonny has started his TFA training. Rich and I came back to the hotel wondering what we do now. I have been planning this trip for 4 months and it is over. Had some  great times and some really tense times. That's the life of a parent. Sometimes you can't do anything wrong, but more often you can't do anything right. Brings back memories of me and my dad and I wonder how he put up with me. But parental love is greater than any love. You never give up loving your child. Tomorrow we will drive to Tulsa to put Jonny's things in storage. We drive back, have dinner, say good bye, and wait to see him again. And now it is his schedule that determines when that will happen. We can't hop in the car and drive a mere 6 hours to see him. Airplanes and teaching schedules are involved. He is so excited. I am excited for him, but really sad for myself. Life moves on and so must I. But I still wonder: Where does the time go?

One more little thing.

Today started out great.  We woke to find we were all alone in this cute little campground on a dried up river. Spent last night playing our traditional camping game, Phase 10. A light rain this am but we were bound and determined to have bacon and eggs so we did it anyway. No confrontational meetings of the mind. Got on the road just a little later than we planned.

As we were driving along I-70, with the boys playing another game of Stratomatic in back, we hear a loud bang outside of Bertha. After I pull off we see the awning in the middle of the road, having completely detached from the side of Bertha, and the metal supports were banging against her side. After about an hour we had managed to remove the remaining pieces of the awning from the side, while a nice KS state trooper looked on, and left it by the side of the road. Never even got to use it. I am afraid to ask what is next.

As we approached OK City today I came to the realization that after today our relationship with our son will be forever changed. He is heading out into the world to do great things. We have been so lucky to have been able to share so much time with him during his college years and before. But it ends tomorrow when we drop him off at OK City University for his Teach for America training which will lead to his teaching here for the next 2 years. And who knows what happens then. I feel certain he will excel in his career and only hope we can remain in touch and see him more often than either of us have seen of our own parents.

Finally a quiet day

Well, I am sitting here in Ellis, KS, population unclear, in the sweetest little city campground at twilight, with a view of a church that should be situated on the River Rhein. If I can figure out how, I will post a picture. Our great adventure has had a less than auspicious beginning. As we packed up to leave Eugene in our new, old Bertha we discovered the fridge wasn't working properly. We were able to get that fixed on our way out of town and got to Walla Walla for an incredible weekend of graduation activities, spending time with, and saying good bye to, friends we have made in the stands of baseball stadiums for the last 4 years. We have weathered good weather, terrible weather, snow, sleet, hail, and Norovirus together. I have tended to more than one injured or ill baseball player over Jonny's 15 year career behind the dish. It is now over. Jonny has graduated from college, has participated in his last baseball game and we are moving on.

We left Walla Walla on Tuesday to the tune of Bertha's alarm going off. The key fob wouldn't shut it off. Otis the dog got scared, scaled the fence of our rental house, ran onto a neighbor's porch, grabbed a shoe and ran off down the street. Hot in pursuit, with the assistance of a road worker, I caught up with him a block away from home, wherein he wrapped around my feet, throwing me to the ground face first, whilst the alarm on Bertha continued to sound. We were finally able to silence Bertha and get Otis in the car, but were now more than an hour behind and Jonny was due to be in Boise to deliver his car to a shipping company that would take it to OK City, as we decided we just were not ready to tow a car behind an RF we had never really driven. And then there was the time change.

So Jonny showed up late even on LariHacker time and we showed up even later, realizing that Bertha does a whopping 50 MPH over passes. But they took our money anyway and we headed to our first RV camp site, Boise RV Riverside RV Park. Easily accessible, nice trail along the river I am told. This is when we discovered that it takes an hour to boil water for pasta on the not so powerful stove in Bertha. And the next morning we discovered that you really cannot hook up to water as it either drips or sprays everywhere, more on that later. And the hot water heater, well if you like lukewarm showers you are golden. But then I stepped around the back of Bertha to tearfully contemplate just what I had gotten us into and heard the sound of water pouring out of the hot water heater and realized there was a reason we couldn't get the water hot. The water put the flames out. So now I am questioning just what, exactly, Camping World inspected if not the hot water heater and the generator and the fridge but I find this out later.

By Wednesday we had figured out how to restart the fridge( which broke again), but had no hot water, and had to cart the water we needed in the holding tank, and the stove isn't worth lighting. Okay, so we aren't towing the car and weight of the extra water isn't such an issue, and we have never had hot water when camping before and I had luckily brought our 40 yr old Coleman cook stove so we could cook outside (except for when it rains, more later), and most of the RV places have showers so who needs hot water after all. After cold oatmeal, some tears and just a little cursing, we head out bound for Rock Springs, WY, just a little later than anticipated. And then there were more mountain passes.

Made it all the way to Ogden, UT, on Wednesday evening. Found a great state campground on a nice lake, few people, and our choice of sites. That road noise? Well you get used to it. But what is amazing at RV campgrounds is the relative quiet, as all the other campers are INSIDE. All night. They eat inside and then watch TV. So we had a nice quiet dinner of steaks cooked over a wood fire and shared the bottle of L'Ecole Cabernet we bought when we dropped Jonny off at Whitman as a freshman and took a walk by the lake. Then had a nice campfire and smores. I am bothered by my son's apparent disdain of everything I say and do, but I figure this is his way of forging the separation that is coming. I can't help feeling just a little, okay a lot, hurt, however. And I am soooo incredibly disappointed that this trip I have been planning for months is, shall I say, not happening exactly as planned.

On Thursday we make it all the way to Rawlins, WY. Rich and Jonny finally get out the Stratomatic baseball game that, truth be told, is the real reason we are doing this RV thing. Rich has dreamed of playing this game with Jonny on the road for months. They play baseball and announce the game whilst I drive with dog as my co-pilot. In Rawlins we experience a KOA. Everyone has to at least once. Especially when they don't have showers on board. Well we do, but it is now a fine coat closet. After a nice dinner outside, once again all by ourselves, I find something dripping under Bertha. Rich and I crawl around under her for a bit, with liquid dripping on our faces, then I go inside to find the source of the leak and, yes, it was the toilet. So I try to fix the connections to no avail, all the while gagging at the thought of what I had just been wetted with, finally turn off the water to the toilet, run to the shower and wash all my clothes. On Thursday we lost our toilet. We are now officially car camping in a very large, gas thirsty car.

On Friday we are going to have the traditional pancake breakfast of camping, but it is raining and we can't cook inside so we go to a local diner instead. We have a relatively short drive through some amazing scenery and arrive in Denver to visit some old med school friends. Beautiful drive with my boys "playing" baseball and announcing plays as I drive...to the address we thought was current. But, of course, our friends moved in February, but they are still in Denver and we eventually find them and spend a wonderful evening with them and their severely affected autistic daughter and we thank our lucky stars that we have our Jonny. We have been fighting and pushing each others' buttons all the way and today it stopped. And this is our last night together in a campground. Maybe forever.